Trump Boasts Annual Physical Turned Up No Signs Of Pedophilia
President Donald Trump announced that his annual physical revealed no signs of pedophilia. He emphasized the thoroughness of the tests and claimed to have tested negative on all relevant assessments. However, doctors noted that further testing was needed for certain age groups.
- ▪Trump stated that his annual physical showed no signs of pedophilia.
- ▪He claimed to have tested negative on both blood and urine tests.
- ▪Doctors mentioned that more testing was required for girls ages 12 to 17.
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| Original publisher | The Onion |
| Canonical URL | https://theonion.com/trump-boasts-annual-physical-turned-up-no-signs-of-pedophilia/ |
| Publication time | Wed, 27 May 2026 18:28:44 +0000 |
| Retrieval time | 2026-05-27T18:38:02.539Z |
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Politics Trump Boasts Annual Physical Turned Up No Signs Of Pedophilia Share Share on Facebook Share on X Share on Bluesky Share on LinkedIn Share on SMS Share on WhatsApp Email this Page Published: May 27, 2026 WASHINGTON—Proudly declaring that the exam revealed what he had known all along, President Donald Trump boasted Wednesday that his annual physical turned up no signs of pedophilia. “The doctors gave me the most thorough pedophilia testing you can get, and I’m totally clean,” said Trump, who claimed he had not only tested negative on pedophilia blood and urine tests but had also consistently pointed to pictures of adults when asked which persons of various ages he was sexually attracted to.
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