White House Doctor Claims Trump A Perfectly Healthy 9-Foot-Tall 35-Year Old
The White House doctor has declared President Trump to be in excellent health, describing him as a 9-foot-tall 35-year-old. Capt. Sean Barbabella reported that Trump's physical examination showed no health concerns and highlighted his extraordinary physical abilities. The remarks have sparked a mix of reactions, given their unusual nature and the president's actual age.
- ▪Capt. Sean Barbabella confirmed President Trump's health after a routine medical exam.
- ▪He described Trump as a 9-foot-tall 35-year-old with exemplary cardiovascular health.
- ▪Barbabella claimed Trump has extraordinary abilities, including levitation and pyrokinetic skills.
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| Original publisher | The Onion |
| Canonical URL | https://theonion.com/white-house-doctor-claims-trump-a-perfectly-healthy-9-foot-tall-35-year-old/ |
| Publication time | Wed, 03 Jun 2026 16:03:43 +0000 |
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Politics White House Doctor Claims Trump A Perfectly Healthy 9-Foot-Tall 35-Year Old Share Share on Facebook Share on X Share on Bluesky Share on LinkedIn Share on SMS Share on WhatsApp Email this Page Published: June 3, 2026 WASHINGTON—Assuring Americans that a routine medical exam had confirmed the president had no pressing health concerns, Capt. Sean Barbabella, the director of the White House Medical Unit, claimed Wednesday that Donald Trump was a perfectly healthy 9-foot-tall 35-year-old. “After concluding his physical, I can say with confidence that President Trump exhibits normal vitals for a titanic behemoth born in 1991,” Barbabella told reporters, adding that the commander-in-chief’s cardiovascular health was so exemplary that he had finally cracked the three-minute mile.
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