Nation Begs Frozen Fruit Companies To Keep The Giant Flavorless Blackberries Coming
Americans have expressed a strong desire for more giant flavorless blackberries from frozen fruit companies. Residents across the nation are requesting these bland, icy treats, emphasizing their preference for size and lack of sweetness. The demand highlights a peculiar trend in consumer tastes for frozen fruit products.
- ▪The American public is requesting more giant flavorless blackberries from frozen fruit companies.
- ▪Residents have stated they prefer the blackberries to be large, frost-covered, and insipid.
- ▪There is a desire for the blackberries to be sold in bulk, even if they are freezer-burnt.
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| Original publisher | The Onion |
| Canonical URL | https://theonion.com/nation-begs-frozen-fruit-companies-to-keep-the-giant-flavorless-blackberries-coming/ |
| Publication time | Thu, 21 May 2026 13:08:32 +0000 |
| Retrieval time | 2026-05-21T13:21:11.070Z |
| Last seen | 2026-05-21T13:21:11.070Z |
| Headline source | Publisher (no WeSearch rewrite) |
| Excerpt source | publisher body |
| Excerpt method | First ~120 words (~800 chars) of extracted publisher body, fair-use limited. |
| Summary | WeSearch · cerebras-chat (WeSearch summarizer) |
| Summary source text | contentText |
| Citation coverage | Summary is a WeSearch-generated derivative; primary citation is the original publisher URL. |
| Cluster | ILcTXLpLy97c |
| Cluster logic | Grouped by semantic title/content similarity across sources within a rolling window. Same-publisher template collisions are excluded from coverage comparison. |
| Ranking reason | Story pages are not engagement-ranked. Hub feeds use recency, with optional source-diversified chronological ordering (cap consecutive stories per source). No personalized ranking. |
| Publisher visit | Yes — open original |
| Substitutes article? | No — link-out required for full text |
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| Indexing | May the item be indexed (stored, ranked, made findable)? | Allowed |
| Snippet | May a short excerpt of the publisher's text be shown? | Allowed |
| AI summary | May WeSearch generate its own short summary of the article? | Limited |
| Retrieval / RAG | May the content be exposed for third-party retrieval-augmented generation? | Not asserted |
| Model training | May the content be used to train AI models? | Not asserted |
| Commercial reuse | May the content be reused commercially? | Not permitted |
Basis: Derived from the published RSS/Atom feed. Contact: [email protected]. Reviewed: 2026-07-24.
Opening excerpt (first ~120 words) tap to expand
News Nation Begs Frozen Fruit Companies To Keep The Giant Flavorless Blackberries Coming Share Share on Facebook Share on X Share on Bluesky Share on LinkedIn Share on SMS Share on WhatsApp Email this Page Published: May 21, 2026 WASHINGTON—Stressing that they couldn’t get enough of the bland icy husks that crumble apart in their mouths, the American people reportedly begged frozen fruit companies this week to keep the giant flavorless blackberries coming. “If you can keep making bags of ice-caked blackberries with no taste whatsoever, we’ll take everything you got,” said Nevada resident Conner Morris, echoing the sentiment of all 340 million Americans as he revealed their strong desire to eat nothing but bitter, frosty blackberries the size of golf balls for the rest of their lives.
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Excerpt limited to ~120 words for fair-use compliance. The full article is at The Onion.